Diabetes victory of the week: I think I only had two blood sugars over 200 in the last week. My sensor readings are consistently low, but when I calibrate because I don't trust the sensor's low reading, I'm usually 10-20 mg/dL higher than the sensor reading, sometimes even higher. This means that if the sensor tells me I'm at 47 mg/dL, I'm actually probably closer to 60, and maybe more like 70 mg/dL. I'll admit to some physical discomfort/weakness/fatigue with this number, but if the alternative is 150 mg/dL or higher, I'll take it. Seems like 60-70 is not too far off a normal fasting number for non-diabetics, and that's what I'm trying to achieve. It's definitely more common when I'm getting close to a meal (before breakfast and before dinner, especially).
Snacks are not the answer to my problem, even though healthcare providers regularly recommend them as a way of regulating blood sugar between meals. If I eat zero carb snacks, my blood sugar still gets low. If I eat snacks with a modest amount of carbohydrate (let's say 20 grams), even the tiny amount of insulin I have to give to prevent a spike will result in a low anyway. My snacks end up usually being whatever I have to do to raise my blood sugar in between meals (Gatorade for a little pick me up 30 minutes before dinner, chocolate milk if I was out walking and my blood sugar is crashing with 3.0 units of insulin still on board). It's not perfect, but it is adequate.
Diabetes failure of the week: Overnight lows have returned with a vengeance. I'm lowering basal rates slowly. Fortunately the sensor wakes me up quickly, and I'm up often enough to use the bathroom, get a drink of water, or roll over that I don't feel like I'm in a lot of danger. It's also not like I made a mistake. I'm just having to catch up to something new that's going on in my body right now.
But stories like this one do give me pause when assessing my personal risk. The 'dead in bed' phenomenon is still not well-understood, and it's the most terrifying thing about being a diabetic. When I was first diagnosed, it was kidney failure and blindness that freaked everyone out. Because of how well my blood sugars are controlled, I have some memory of these long-term complications of diabetes, but I know that tight control has its own risks, too.
Mostly unfounded fear of the week: That my baby is going to be too big, or that she will die before birth. I feel like we've been here before...
Mostly intangible joy of the week: The realization that this is really probably the healthiest pregnancy I've ever had. I keep waiting for something terrible to happen to me during pregnancy, because I know lots of women who have endured danger during their pregnancies, and lots of babies who have not made it to birth. It's just a fact of the human condition. It makes me unbelievably grateful, and somewhat surprised, but also wanting other women to know that death during multiple so-called high-risk pregnancies is not inevitable.
Snacks are not the answer to my problem, even though healthcare providers regularly recommend them as a way of regulating blood sugar between meals. If I eat zero carb snacks, my blood sugar still gets low. If I eat snacks with a modest amount of carbohydrate (let's say 20 grams), even the tiny amount of insulin I have to give to prevent a spike will result in a low anyway. My snacks end up usually being whatever I have to do to raise my blood sugar in between meals (Gatorade for a little pick me up 30 minutes before dinner, chocolate milk if I was out walking and my blood sugar is crashing with 3.0 units of insulin still on board). It's not perfect, but it is adequate.
Diabetes failure of the week: Overnight lows have returned with a vengeance. I'm lowering basal rates slowly. Fortunately the sensor wakes me up quickly, and I'm up often enough to use the bathroom, get a drink of water, or roll over that I don't feel like I'm in a lot of danger. It's also not like I made a mistake. I'm just having to catch up to something new that's going on in my body right now.
But stories like this one do give me pause when assessing my personal risk. The 'dead in bed' phenomenon is still not well-understood, and it's the most terrifying thing about being a diabetic. When I was first diagnosed, it was kidney failure and blindness that freaked everyone out. Because of how well my blood sugars are controlled, I have some memory of these long-term complications of diabetes, but I know that tight control has its own risks, too.
Mostly unfounded fear of the week: That my baby is going to be too big, or that she will die before birth. I feel like we've been here before...
Mostly intangible joy of the week: The realization that this is really probably the healthiest pregnancy I've ever had. I keep waiting for something terrible to happen to me during pregnancy, because I know lots of women who have endured danger during their pregnancies, and lots of babies who have not made it to birth. It's just a fact of the human condition. It makes me unbelievably grateful, and somewhat surprised, but also wanting other women to know that death during multiple so-called high-risk pregnancies is not inevitable.
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We had another round of doctor's appointments this week. Baby's growth is at 55th percentile, which is bigger than a month ago but still modest, and easily accounted for by errors in measurement. (I actually suspect she really is a bit bigger, because I sort of wonder if the unpredictability of my blood sugars over the last couple weeks either caused or were caused by a growth spurt for her. Hormones, something something, metabolism, something.)
She passed her BPP (8 out of 8!) with flying colors, and my OB decided not to measure the size of my belly with the measuring tape, having been reassured about her growth by the ultrasound. I realized that was a nice omission, because my blood pressure always go up a little bit when they are assessing the baby's size. I know they watch the centimeters on the measuring tape very closely. I wish they would watch the relevant parts of my anatomy closely when I'm in hard labor, because it seems like four times now they've been surprised when the baby crowns! :P (That's a joke I get to make now because I've given birth a bunch of times. It's a small privilege and consolation among so many difficulties.)