Diabetes victory of the week: Not suffering a paralyzing amount of anxiety about gaining a (rather normal amount of) pregnancy weight and supposedly not exercising enough (as I was told to do more of last pregnancy). I reiterate a renewed understanding of why Type I diabetics suffer from eating disorders at a higher rate than the general population! By the way, I do not, nor have I ever had, an eating disorder. But I'm beginning to see why Type I diabetics do extreme but counterproductive things with food consumption, exercise, or insulin management out of anxiety about achieving blood sugar goals/weight goals/calorie goals/exercise goals. The goals that doctors have for you, divorced from your own concerns, problems, and quality of life issues, is enough to make you a little crazy.
Diabetes failure of the week: Not noticing that I'm having a consistent problem with low blood sugars during the night. I guess I've gotten so used to going low between 11:00pm and 2:00am that it doesn't even feel like news any more. I'll try adjusting my basal rates again and see if that works. I have never been able to get a handle on this problem even when not pregnant, so I'll just keep limping along, I guess.
Mostly unfounded fear of the week: That I'm going to lose the baby. We're pretty safe at this point, especially given my history of healthy, full-term births, but I know that stuff happens. It's happened to my friends, it's happened to friends of friends, it's happened somewhere in the world, and it could be me. My friends and family are sort of surprised when I throw that out into the conversation: "You know, assuming everything goes OK and that the baby doesn't ... die ... before birth," but it's hard to get the possibility out of my mind. "God willing," I say, "we'll have another baby in November."
Mostly intangible joy of the week: My second son wants twin girls. The thought of having twin girls is rather paralyzing to me personally, but his joy at the thought that we might have twin girls is unbelievably adorable. I'm so glad my kids are excited to be welcoming another little human being (or beings!) into our family life, as cramped and impoverished as it sometimes is. It helps me remember why it is that we Catholics call ourselves "open to life," because life is good, and people are awesome. It's true even when the rest of the world isn't quite ready to accept that that is just as true for our already-quite-large family as it is for the 33-year-old career woman giving birth for the first time after suffering through two years of infertility.
Diabetes failure of the week: Not noticing that I'm having a consistent problem with low blood sugars during the night. I guess I've gotten so used to going low between 11:00pm and 2:00am that it doesn't even feel like news any more. I'll try adjusting my basal rates again and see if that works. I have never been able to get a handle on this problem even when not pregnant, so I'll just keep limping along, I guess.
Mostly unfounded fear of the week: That I'm going to lose the baby. We're pretty safe at this point, especially given my history of healthy, full-term births, but I know that stuff happens. It's happened to my friends, it's happened to friends of friends, it's happened somewhere in the world, and it could be me. My friends and family are sort of surprised when I throw that out into the conversation: "You know, assuming everything goes OK and that the baby doesn't ... die ... before birth," but it's hard to get the possibility out of my mind. "God willing," I say, "we'll have another baby in November."
Mostly intangible joy of the week: My second son wants twin girls. The thought of having twin girls is rather paralyzing to me personally, but his joy at the thought that we might have twin girls is unbelievably adorable. I'm so glad my kids are excited to be welcoming another little human being (or beings!) into our family life, as cramped and impoverished as it sometimes is. It helps me remember why it is that we Catholics call ourselves "open to life," because life is good, and people are awesome. It's true even when the rest of the world isn't quite ready to accept that that is just as true for our already-quite-large family as it is for the 33-year-old career woman giving birth for the first time after suffering through two years of infertility.